Of Hope and Fairness in Connecticut

I will be honest...  There are many times in life that I wish things were fair.  Many times that I sit down, examine personal events, or events in the world around me, and wish that life was fair.  There are even times I pray to God that He would make it fair.  It just doesn't seem right, the way things play out.  It doesn't seem... fair.  And yet, despite my pleas, life moves on along the same track, the idea of fair foreign to it's native language, a word not uttered by it's mocking tongue.  No matter how much I would like for it to be different, that track it rolls down is a hard and abusive one, with dips and cracks and breaks and falls and sometimes- derailments.  It doesn't seem fair because shouldn't that track be smooth?  In a perfect world, yes... but in this world...

I will be honest...  Today was a day that I cried out to God, wanting desperately for Him to make life fair.  Not for me, no- but for twenty little children.  Not for me, no- but for the parents of those 20 children.  Not for me, no- but for the grandparents, the brothers, the sisters, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the friends, for all of those who quite literally had their hearts torn from their chest and could do nothing but watch life stomp frantically on that heart, stomp it into the ground until it stopped beating, broken beyond any repair that mankind can offer... 

Oh, God- please make life fair for them.

People across this Country saw the news, the tragedy.  26 people dead.  20 of them children.  Kindergartners.  Children between the ages of 5-8.  The calls have gone out for people to pray.  Pray!  We were told.  Pray for the families!  Voices pleaded.  I am no stranger to prayer, but I must again be honest and say that prayer was a stranger to me today.  Not because I was unwilling- but because I didn't have words.  All I could do was weep for so many broken hearts.  All I could think about was those parents who had bought and wrapped Christmas presents, placed neatly under the tree, that will never be opened.  All I could think about was parents who, a week ago, were stressed about putting cookies out for Santa- are now at a loss because their children are no longer there to share cookies with.  All I could think about was parents who have gone from planning Christmas dinners- to planning funerals. 

Some of you reading this may think me crazy.  After all, I did not know one single victim in today's tragedy.  So how, pray tell, could I get so upset, so worked up, over the deaths of children I did not even know!  But I dare say, that if you do not get upset, if this does not bother you, if this does not weigh heavy on your heart- then you are the one who is crazy.  While it is true this happened several states away, in Connecticut- somewhere I have never even visited for a moment- it is equally true that it could have happened here.  It is equally true that it very easily could have been a child I knew, a family I knew that was broken.  It could have been- my child.

Evil exists here as much as anywhere else in the world.  Life is not more fair here in my neck of the woods.  They say justice is blind, and that may be true- but it is not as blind as tragedy.  And while we gather around our t.v.'s trying to catch glimpses of a madman's motive, there is a  deeper question that must be answered.  It is  question that, if we dare look in the mirror of our soul, we will see staring us in the face.  We must ask ourselves- what if it was  my child?  What if it was my loved one?  What if it was my mom or dad, my grandparent, my brother, my sister, my friend?  Would we bury our loved ones in grief?  Or would we bury them in shame?  Would we treasure our moments we had with them?  Or would we regret the moments we didn't have?  Even worse- would we regret the moments we did have?  Those moments of anger, those moments, of irritation, those moments of frustration, those moments that once tragedy strikes we wish we could have every single one back if just to hold  for one more minute...

With today officially coming to a close, I finally have some words to form into a prayer.  I pray that today you will remember, that there are some things in life more important than getting the newest i-phone or gaming system.  I pray you remember that anger is not worth holding on to.  I pray that you remember that always being right isn't always what is best.  I pray that you make amends, that you allow healing in broken relationships, that this year for Christmas you give forgiveness...  I pray that, as a parent, never let your last words to them be harsh or angry, make sure they know you love them, make sure you hold them close to your heart.  I pray you treasure every stupid joke, every out of tune song that is sung, every question they ask that you don't understand why they are asking you again for the hundredth time...

Because once a treasure is gone, there is no getting it back.

Finally, I pray that you look to this time of year.  I pray that we would all be reminded, when faced with tragedy, the whole point of the first Christmas- to show us that even in our darkest hour there is hope.  Jesus Christ the Son of God was not born into a world that didn't need healing- He was born into a world that is unfair, tragic, and beyond any repair offered by man.  The first Christmas- His birthday- was to remind us that there is light, there is hope, there is healing from God if we seek it- even on the darkest day in Connecticut...

"The Lord heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds..."  Psalm 147:3

And I Love The Bitterness- Thanksgiving Thoughts

Thanksgiving.  Turkey day.  Day of national pride and honor, day of being thankful for all the blessings, thankful for all things bright and beautiful.  Yes, it is that time of year again.  To be honost  I do like this particular holiday.  I love the food- though I must admit I would rather see beef briscuit on the table than turkey.  Or a hamburger...  mmm yes, piled high with lettuce, tomatoe, onion, mushroom, jalapeno...  Can't go wrong anytime you serve that...  But food aside, it is nice to have a day set aside to thank God for all blessings great and small.

All month I have been watching and listening as people count down the days to this most sacred of holidays, recalling what is precious to them.  I have seen people move about, expressing thanks from their lips for everything from children to spouses, parents to siblings, houses, jobs and cars, and oh the list carries on...  But there has been one thing suspicously absent from all.  Well, several things actually, but for sake of easy reading and easier typing, I shall sum all of it up in one word: bitterness.

Allow me to explain what I am meaning, before I am cast off as a heathen and a hater.  Let me start off with something simple.  Joy.  True joy.  I assume that we have all felt it, some level of it anyway.  But can you truly and fully appreciate joy- without knowing sorrow?  What about gain- we all have gained something we appreciate, yes?  But what level of happiness does gain bring unless we have also experienced loss?  Do we understand freedom without slavery, or liberty without tyranny?  Can there be a winner without a loser?  Is it not true that everyone is a friend, and thus friendships are devalued, unless we have dealt with enemies?   Can we know the depths of love, can we understand it's impact on our lives without also having experienced hate?   

And speaking of love- would we ever, even just once, experience the healing power it holds- if we are never broken?

My friends- can we know just how sweet life is without knowing life's bitterness?

The reality is, without bitterness, the rest of life would blend together.  It would be one endless blah, with every emotion the same as the next, our senses dulled, and we would be left with the inability to comprehend the very emotions we crave.  Love, joy, peace, all would be as common to us as a glass of water or a handful of dirt.  I dare say, that without bitterness, we would still be broken, lost souls in need of a Savior- but never understanding why.  I don't think I would ever want to be in that state of mind...

So while it is true, this great turkey day I will be thanking God for all He has done for me, I will be grateful for the love, joy, peace, happiness... 

But I will also take a moment and thank God for the bitterness...  because what would life be without it?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone- and may God bless you in all things bright and beautiful- and may He bless you in the bitterness!

Mission Minded in America

WE ARE a Christian nation.  I hear this repeatedly.  It seems to be the mantra of most followers of Christ here in America, a mantra that seems cemented by the fact that most of the founders of this great land professed to be followers of the faith; it flows through the veins of our history; it is even reflected in our national motto:  In God We Trust.  Yes, it seems that everyone knows we are a Christian nation; especially the Christians.

This is both a blessing and a curse.  It is a blessing because it means that we enjoy a rich heritage of religious freedom.  As Christians we are sensitive to any attacks against that freedom that come our way; and even when we may not always be overly active in politics, we are quick to step up and speak out when religious liberty is threatened.  However, it is also a curse.  How so you say?  Allow me to explain...

American Christians are great at evangelizing- in other nations.  We are quick to run to other nations to spread the Gospel; and often when our missionaries go overseas they see great results- God moving in amazing ways, spreading revival throughout communities the missionaries work in, many people converting to become followers of Christ.  I will be the first to admit it is very exciting to hear the testimonies that missionaries have to share when they return from foreign soil.

However, we are not so quick to share the Gospel here.  It seems too often our mouths are more interested in praising our favorite sports team than we are praising God.  Our heart is more content seeking the American dream than seeking to fulfil the Great Commission.  We are more cautious with our words, which are chosen intentionally to ensure they do not offend those in this vast culture that may believe in something different.

And we have our excuses; sometimes they even sound good.  The one on my mind tonight though, is the following:  We are a Christian nation.  So perhaps I am missing something here...  Because we are a Christian nation, we as Christians are excused from sharing the Gospel here?  It saddens me to no end when people tell me this...  You see, in the mind of many Christians, so much of our culture revolves around Christianity that they really believe everyone here has already heard the good news...  There is no point in making a special effort, in living mission minded in this land- because everyone has heard it already, and they have either chosen to accept or reject it.

You may ask- why does this sadden you?  Isn't it true?  In this nation where Jesus is so prevalent that His name is even a common curse word, shouldn't we turn more attention to other lands and not be so concerned about it here?  After all, we will probably just offend others anyway, and then we will be labeled as self-righteous people who are just some weird kind of zealot...

Well?  Is it true?

Tonight I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of teenagers about Jesus Christ.  I asked them who they thought He was.  Their response?  He was a guy who taught some religious stuff.  I asked them if they knew what sin was.  Would you believe they didn't?  They genuinely did not know what it meant to be a sinner!!  It was a great joy that God allowed me to explain the Gospel to them-  it is with greater joy that I have a new brother and sister in Christ when all was said and done...  But the reason and purpose for this blog is not to shine a light on that, but rather on this fact:  So many of us assume that everyone in America has heard the Gospel, that everyone knows what sin is, that everyone knows who Jesus is; we become so convinced of this that we make little or no effort to evangelize our neighbors, our co-workers, or families, our friends, or whoever else God places in our path...

The fact is, there are a lot of Americans that we have placed labels and assumptions on, who don't fit in to it at all.  The reality is that this society is so exposed to the Gospel that many of the lost have become desensitized to it's message, never getting the whole of the truth.  The reality is that too often we replace genuine evangelism with bumper sticker and t-shirt slogans, giving out only a half-hearted morsel of the whole loaf of the bread of life. 

The reality is, here in America, Jesus' Words apply greatly :  "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few."

May I ask a question?  When was the last time you shared the Gospel with someone?  When was the last time you took a friend or co-worker aside and said, "can I tell you about Someone who has completely changed my life?"  When was the last time you saw someone hurting and you offered to pray for them- not just when you got home or when you remembered to, but stopped right there, stopped what you were doing, and prayed WITH them?  When was the last time you were intentional about being mission minded here in America? 

I must confess- too often I am not.  It grieves me to think of missed opportunities because I fell into the trap of believing "they have probably already heard it"... 

Jesus never said, "Go-unless you think they already know."

Does that mean every time we share people will choose to accept Christ right then and there?  No.  Jesus was clear that many will reject Him, few will follow.  But you see that part isn't up to us.  It isn't for us to make the decision for them, and it isn't for us to get discouraged and give up when they don't.  What is for us is to be obedient.  And what is for us is that when we are obedient, we will see God move!  You see, I really believe Jesus' Words, the harvest IS plentiful here in America!  There are so many that have yet to hear the truth in our own backyard! 

Do me a favor would ya?  Let's agree together to be intentionally mission minded in THIS Country, in OUR state, in OUR city, in OUR neighborhood- you and me!  What do you say? 

I believe God will move and use us in an extraordinary way if we will commit to that!  Let's be a part of His harvest here in America!

Why Libya Matters

IT WAS not that long ago we were honoring the memory of September 11.  There were prayer events, political events, and times of reflection at sporting events.  The nation was reminded of that time in our recent history when we suffered violently at the hands of terrorists...  That time when so many of our American citizens died, and we swore that it would happen NEVER again.  We had our time of tears, but those tears turned to anger, and that anger fueled war, in an attempt to send a clear mesage to the world:  NEVER AGAIN.  We thought that they heard us.  The question is- did they?

That was answered 11 years after the first 9/11 attack.  11 years to the day.  September 11, 2012 was a new day for terror.  This time, the attack happened at our Consulate in Libya.  An act of violence using military grade weapons and took the lives of 4 Americans.  While it is true that we did not lose as many as we did on the orriginal 9/11, it does not discount the fact that our people were murdered.  To their families, it is irrelevant if it was 4 or 3,000.  Their lives are changed forever, their loved ones are never returning home to hug them, to kiss them, to hold them.  Their world fractured that day.  What makes it worse, though, is that a time that should be reserved for sorrow and healing has been fractured as well.  Only this time it was not rocket launchers, gunfire, or mortars that has left a crater on their soul- no, this time it is betrayal.

Betrayal.  A strong word, but we must understand the events of that day, and in so doing understand that the events at Libya were not just some random thing that happened, they were not some minor event in American history, nor was it something we should just ignore.  Now I know the concern that some may have- we should not politicize the deaths of four Americans.  I agree.  I think it would be a grave disservice to them to turn this into a partisan politics arguement.  HOWEVER- we must not avoid the discussion in fear of being taken as politicizing the event either.

We must first look at some facts that we do know:  First, that there was an attack on sovereign American soil.  International law states that a country's consulates in foreign land is sovereign soil to that nation.  Basicly, if you attack a consulate you are in effect attacking that nation.  So the American consulate in Libya was, by international law, sitting on American soil.  The attack there on that fateful September day then, in the eyes of international law- as well as our own- was no different than if they had attacked us here in the states.

Less than a mile away from the consulate, there were 2 Navy SEALs.   Upon hearing the gunshots they radiod in for support, requesting aid as they went into action to protect American soil, and more importantly, American lives.  They were denied help.  And they were told to stand down.  They were told to do nothing as their fellow Americans fell under attack.

They chose to defy orders.

They left their safety and went into action, engaging the enemy in a firefight, rescuing 30 American citizens that day.  Unfortunately they were not able to save everyone, as 2 other Americans- one of them our ambassador to Libya- were killed.  Finally, near the end of a 7 hour firefight, these two Navy SEALs were killed in action as well.

After the attack we were told repeatedly by our President, by our Vice President, by the Secretary of State, and by all the other mouthpieces in between that this was the result of an anti-muslim video that had been made and put out on youtube.  This video, which reportedly had 17 views before this incident, supposedly set the whole middle east into a blazing riot. 

But that was not the case at all, as we have since learned that there was no protest.  There was no uprising.  In fact, less than an hour after the attack began- WHILE our men were still fighting- an islamic terrorist group was taking credit for it.  Yes, my friends, we have learned that indeed this was a terrorist attack.  On our soil.  And our government, as investigations have proven, knew this the whole time.  Not only did they know about it- but they lied to the American people about what it was.  They covered up for a terrorist group as long as they could.  And as testimonies and evidence have surfaced, they watched the attack on live video feed.  They watched as these 2 SEALs fought to save others.  They watched as they called for help, for backup, for something.  They denied their requests, and then they watched them die.

Why does this matter, you ask?  First of all, because of several unanswered questions.  WHY was there inadequate security at this consulate?  WHY were the SEALs told to stand down and not engage the enemy?  WHY were their repeated calls for help denied?  WHY were other military and CIA branches also told to do nothing and to stand down when they requested to go in for back up?  WHY did our government do nothing but watch as this terrorist attack unfolded?  WHY DID THEY COVER FOR A TERRORIST GROUP AS LONG AS THEY COULD UNTIL THEY COULD NO LONGER LIE ABOUT IT BEING A PROTEST? 

WHY should we think this is anything less than treason?

Why does this matter?  How is this not politicizing this event?  Because republican, democrat, liberal, conservative, it really doesn't matter what the president believes.  This was nothing less than intentionally leaving our men to die.  They may have been killed by mortars and gunfire that day- but it was this administration's lack of involvement that enabled their murder.  By OUR law, that is called being an accomplice to murder.  It matters not what the party affiliation is.  This was just wrong.

In the democrat primaries in 2008, Hillary Clinton campaigned against Barak Obama, asking the question- what will you do when you get a call at 3 a.m. in the morning about an American attack...

Well...  Now we know what the answer to her question is. 

What will he do?  Nothing.  Nothing but watch. 

My friends, is this really what we want from our president?  Is this what we should expect?  This behavior does not warrant four more years as leader of the free world- it warrants 40 to life behind bars.

Hamster Wheel Theology

"I have hidden Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee."  Psalm 119:11...  Have you ever sat down and just absorbed that verse?  Put all of your own thoughts aside, sitting somewhere, maybe laying in bed at night, just absorbing what David meant... 

I have met so many Christians- including myself- that have said something along the lines of, oh if only I could overcome this sin, I promise Lord to do better next time, etc. etc. etc.  It seems that too often we get caught like a hamster in his stupid wheel, spinning and spinning it, running with all our might to escape it, yet never going anywhere.  The next step, we say, will free us from our bondage.  When it doesn't and we get worn out, we stop for a breather and say to ourselves "I will no longer be in this place, I will be free", only to pick the pace right back up in our little hamster wheel.

Running, running, running.  Spinning, spinning, spinning.  Going nowhere fast.  Our never ending quest to outrun what we cannot.

The truth is that we cannot escape our little hamster wheel on our own.  They say that if you do not learn from history you are doomed to repeat it...  And sadly, we will keep repeating it.  The same spokes of the wheel repeatedly passing under our feet.  Because too often we do not learn. 

This brings me back to Psalm 119:11.  David, ironically, gives us the key to escape our spinning world.  "I have hidden Your Word in my heart"... 

How do you hide the Word in your heart?  By reading it.  No, not just merely scanning over a few verses a day.  Rather, we must READ it.  Absorb it.  Meditate on it.  Study it.  David hid the Word in His heart because it was God's Word, and God's Word is life changing.  When we absorb His Word it penetrates the very darkest depths of our soul, and changes us from the inside out, in ways we could never comprehend or accomplish ourselves. 

I am not meaning picking and choosing either.  I have seen too many people take a verse here or a verse there and build theology from it.  But we must guard against that temptation.  What David was referring to was not a verse by verse theological argument- he didn't write "I have hidden chapter 10 vs. 2 in my heart" but rather, Thy Word. 

Are you stuck in a hamster wheel of repetitious stupidity and sin?  My friend, now is the time to step out of it, step away from the norm of the world, step away from the self help advice and replace it all with His Word, in your heart.  It's that simple.  When you fill up on the Word, when you absorb it, when you hide it in your heart- He will change you. 

Step out of the wheel.  You are not a hamster, after all...

America Again

I HAVE TO BE HONEST...

Gov. Rick Perry was my first choice for the republican nominee for president in 2012.  That guy, in my humble opinion, is a rock star governor not afraid to live his faith.  But... sadly he was defeated rather quickly and quite handily.  SO... My second choice was Michelle Bauchman.  I love that woman; she is not afraid to say what needs to be said when it should be said...  Sadly, she was also defeated rather quikly.  Well, you know what they say- the third time's a charm, so I went with Sen. Rick Santorum...  only to be disappointed at his lack of finishing big.  well, I guess he did come in second...

One thing is for certain, my very last choice was Mitt Romney.  A guy who came across as a moderate establishment candidate.  A guy who was carrying an awful big chain around his neck with bling attached to it that plainly read "Romneycare" in the gold glittery letters.  A guy who was the poster child for the evil "one percent" that the left was going nutso about.  Yeah... that guy.  I hate to say, but I was more excited to bob for dead fish in a barrel than to vote for Romney.

I was firm in my convictions, refusing to acknowledge him as a viable candidate.  When it became clear that he would be our nominee I entered a state of political depression, preparing my mind for another Obama victory.  Visions of the end of America floated through my head.  I was beginning to accept the premise of doom.

You see, I understand that the America I grew up with, the America that I had known and loved since I was a small child, is in critical condition.  She is laying in the ICU room for nations, on life support.  The prognosis is dim.  Hope is not lost- but those with any logic know it might as well be.  Her light is fading from her eyes, and her torch is but an ember.  She has been beaten down by an administration that promised hope and change, and instead gave us no hope and a beating with chains.  That once great Lady Liberty, crippled at the hands of her leader.  Her people made to believe that American exceptionalism was a demonic plague.  Her people assured that to believe in America as the last great hope, that city on a hill for all other nations to look to, was nothing more than a corrupt dream worthy of being abandoned on the trash heap of unfairness.  No, we were told, it is time to look beyond what was and accept a new reality- that America needs to be brought to her knees, brought to a place where all the other nations can see eye to eye with her.  Eye to eye, that is, as she looks up- at them.

That America, that once was great, that was the beacon of hope to all the world, had had it's beacon of hope extinguished by a leader who promised hope.  Oh, how I look back to my youth, back to the America I grew up in, longing for her to pull through, to stand back up lifting high the notion that ALL men are created equal, that ALL men have the right to life and liberty, that ALL men can be free to pursue their dreams and reach as far as they are able, that ALL men through hard work, blood, sweat and tears can one day reach their dreams- and more importantly, that they can impact their neighborhood, their city, their state, their country, their world- that we are more than just a number, a nameless peasant...

I WANT that America back.

I WANT a better future for my children and grandchildren.

But I don't see that.  I don't see anything but Lady Liberty taking her last dying breath under this administration.

That is where I was.  That is what I saw.  I had no faith in the possibility of a victory for conservatism. 

But then...  I watched something unfold.  It was called hope.  Not a glittery hope, not honey-like words spoken from the lips of a seducer in chief.  No, there was something else here.  It was hope spoken from a man once held in sway by the liberal left.  It was hope spoken from a woman reflecting on being that little girl refused hamburgers at the local gathering because of her skin color, later elevated to Secretary of State.  It was hope spoken from a man whose family immigrated from communist Cuba, whose father and mother poured sweat- not for their dreams, but for the dreams of their son.  It was hope spoken from a man who assured us that it is ok- no, not just ok but the right thing to do to believe in America again!

The reminder that WE are the employers, and that this president has been no more effective than an empty chair flooded through my mind- and I pray yours.  The reminder that THIS president, who PROMISED to slow the rise of the waters and to heal the lands SADLY FORGOT the millions of Americans without work, without food, losing homes, losing dreams, losing the very hope that they were promised.  Most importantly, we were reminded that IT IS NEVER too late to HOPE for TRUE HOPE.  It is never too late for Lady Liberty to rise up again.  It is NEVER TOO LATE for OUR America to stand up and once again be that beacon of hope, that symbol of liberty that shines forth from sea to shining sea!

YES!  America can be restored!  There IS hope!  Where there is truth, there is hope! Where there is faith, there can be victory!  Where there are people who are willing to stand and fight for her, there is liberty! 

My friends, NOW is our time.  They had their time, those who would see America weak and defeated.  But NOW is OUR time to rise!  NOW is our time to say, that we are TIRED of more people out of work, we are TIRED of more people hurting, we are TIRED of more debt, we are TIRED of the right to life being trampled, we are TIRED of the right to liberty being stolen, and we are TIRED of a government that has gone TOO FAR!

Four years ago, God gace us the exact leader we asked for.  But now it is time that we recognize our wrongs.  Now is the time we get down on our knees, and go to Almighty God, admitting that we were wrong.  Now is the time that we seek His help once again, then rise to our feet, and claim the idea of America, the idea of freedom, the idea of liberty that burns in our minds, our hearts, our souls again!!!  LET US go forth from this day forward and fire those responsible for trashing our Constitution, fire those who have attempted to enslave us to their socialist views, and TAKE AMERICA BACK FROM THEIR HANDS AND BACK IN THE HANDS OF THEIR EMPLOYERS- WE! THE! PEOPLE!!!!

What do you say?  Are you willing to stand?  Are you willing to be a voice of reason in this time of insanity?  Because my friends, the time is now, you are the voice that will restore hope, and your voice was never more needed than NOW!!!

My Destiny, Part Three: Rebirth

...until out of the corner of my eye I see- a light.  Just a tiny hole poking through the darkness at first.  But within mere moments I not only see, but am enveloped completely by it, overwhelmed by it.  There is not even the smallest trace of darkness anymore.  It has vanished so quickly that for a moment I wonder if it was even here.  And then it is but a fading memory...

A breeze passes over me, and suddenly I feel lifted with new strength.  It is not my own, no mistaking that.  My body still feels as though it is made of sand, inconsistant with no ability to hold structure on it's own.  Yet this strength holds me together, lifting me to my feet.  New found freedom washes over me.  Love infuses me.  Life takes hold of me.  Life... 

It is then that I notice something laying at my feet.  I look down and find a shell where only minutes ago I lay broken.  It looks like me...  Or, what was me.  The twisted form of myself that had become gnarled from disease.  Is it any wonder I could even move, I ask myself?  Or were my previous movements just an illusion from the mind of a paralyzed man?  What exactly is happening to me?

It is then that I see a lamb, as though it had been slain, yet living in all might and power.  It is the very God I had cried out to, the very God whom seemed so very far away, standing not above me, but beside me, holding me up.  It is then I realize that this new strength is His.  He has taken the darkness from me.  I do not have to ask, for the answer is already there- it was He who paid the price for my life.  He had ransomed me with His very blood.  Then in His power, He took my old self, that broken blackened creature of the night that I was, and changed it. 

I am a new creation.

This is my destiny.

I have done many wrongs, hurt God and others, in a life that was a suicide mission.  But no more.  Now God has set me on a new path; a path of peace though we are in a war, a path of love though we are surrounded by hate, a path of hope despite being surrounded by hopelessness.  This is the great adventure.   I do not know what lies ahead of my feet.  I am so blinded by the Light that it is all I can see- but it is that the Light, the Light of Christ, that I shall follow- no matter where it leads. 

I am redeemed. 

I am restored.

I am reborn.

The Lord Jesus Christ has came to my aid.  The Son of God has taken my place in judgement where I should have stood.  He saw my frailty, my weakness, my disease.  When all others cringed from me, when all others ran from me, when there was no hope in any other name under Heaven- he ran to me, and purchased the rights to my soul with His very blood.  He resurrected my dead soul just as He was resurrected from the grave.  He is the Light that I will follow until the end of eternity- and beyond.

This has been my story, from beginning to end.  Sometimes I forget myself, and I look back for that shell of a creature I once was.  But I never can see it.  Oh yes, sometimes my eyes do start to adjust to the darkness again.  But they never fully adjust, and I stumble and fall to my knees where the Lamb lifts me up and surrounds me with His love and His light again. 

Yes, this has been my story.  But my question to you is, is it not your story too?  For my brothers and sisters in Christ, do you remember the time when He came to your rescue?  Or have you forgotten the joy His love brings?  Stop looking back at your past.  Turn yourself back around, focus only on Him.  Your past is dead and gone, a distant memory cast into the sea of forgetfulness, cast as far from you as the east is from the west.  It is forgotten by God...  Why don't you forget it too?

As for those of you who may read this, who are still in that miry pit...  There is only one way out my friend.  There is only one way to freedom.  You can remain in that pit, broken, twisted, dying...  But there is another destiny that awaits.  A destiny not of regret, not of hopelessness, not of hate.  It is a destiny of peace, love, hope, redemption... 

Your adventure awaits...

Well?  What are you waiting for?

My Destiny, Part Two: 1000 Apologies

...And it is in this darkness that I somehow muster the strength for a feeble cry... it barely escapes my lips, the smallest of voices in my mind and ears...  and yet it echoes in the darkness, as if off of unseen walls in the black, growing louder, louder still until it becomes deafening... help!  I cry, as I realize I can no longer move on my own.  My spiritual state has struck me down, a sword to the heart, and left me for dead.  But somehow I still manage breath.  I choke out the whispered apologies... 

I have so many to make.  I have wasted so much time, precious time given by God...  I have committed spiritual treason against myself, my family, my friends...  Despite my own efforts, despite my own thoughts of myself I have become the hypocrite, the pharisee, the whitewashed tomb full of dead men's bones...  So many apologies...  Where to begin?

Where do you begin when you have 1000 apologies to make, apologies that are just words, that can never change the past, that can never mend the damage done, that can never erase the scars...  Scars given to others, and to myself.  If words can never hurt- then they can never heal.  They are just empty expressions, void of meaning.  Yet these empty expressions are all I have left in me.  It is all my strength to put down my pride and admit I was wrong.  It takes every muscle in my body to form the words, I repent.  I commission these words with prayer, hoping that He will give meaning to the only thing I have left to give.

My reality lies in the fact that I cannot escape my destiny in my own strength.  My reality is that I cannot rescue myself.  As my life plays out before me, my reality is that it was not I that ever did anything good... nor was it I that had the strength to whisper my apologies, my repentance.

Repentance...  Is it real?  Do I have any capability to turn from this disease infected self that I am?  Do I have any capability to not just apologize but to make a lifestyle change so radical that it is though I am a new creation?  Will my apologies, barren and empty yet from the depths of my soul, will they mean anything?

All I can do is ponder these questions.  They echo through my skull, driving me mad with hopelessness, until out of the corner of my eye I see...

...to be continued...

My Destiny, Part One: Godforsaken by Law

I HAVE been called many things in my life.  There is no denying that.  Some has been justified, some- not so much.  Some has been hurtful, some- not so much.  I have been called hateful; and I have been called too loving.  I have been accused of being a mocker of God's Word; and I have been called someone who takes God's Word too seriously.  I have been called someone who caused division because I don't always agree with people; and I have been called a person who tries too hard to bring people together.  I have been labeled a hypocrite; and I have been hailed as a saint...  OK, maybe not literally on that last part, but you get the idea... :)

Yes, I have been called many things, have been many faces to many people...  But the real question is what am I when all the masks break away, when the different perceptions are gone, when I am stripped bare to face the throne of God...  When I am face down to the King of Kings, about to be judged by His law...

By His law...  I am someone who has held other gods- including myself- before Him.  I am an idolator.  I have taken His Name in vain, both literrally and figuratively.  I have mocked Him and His Word.  Instead of being at rest and peace with Him, I have waged war against Him in my heart.  I have disrespected my parents- indeed, the very gift of life itself.  I have hated my brother, secretly killing him in my heart.  I have lusted...  the very sin of adultery in the shadows of my mind.  I have stolen!  Things that were never meant to be mine, clutched tightly in my hands...  I have lied about my neighbor... and my neighbor's neighbor...  And the guy down the street...  And the girl 4 houses over...  Oh the stories I have told about them...  And why not?  After all, THEY get all the good stuff- the nice car that should be mine; the huge house that I should be living in... 

Hypocrite.

I admit it.

By His law, His holy Word, all of my good is stripped bare.  I am exposed before Him and before all for what I am.  I am an unclean thing.  ALL of my righteousness is as filthy rags.  I am dirty, disgusting, grimy, putrid.  What is there in me to be proud of?  What good in my life can I point to?  What love in my life, what light in my soul?

I am hypocrite.  Nothing more, nothing less.  All of those hurtful things that have been spoken of me... are all true.  I cannot deny them.  Every accusation- though I would flee from them, to run away and burrow away hiding from them, they hunt me down and devour me because they are truth.

I am nothing.  There is no good, no lovely thing about me.

I am Godforsaken, for He cannot look upon sin- and I am sin.

Now that the mask has deteriorated into dust I see for myself who I am.  How I long to be able to go back in time, to change choices I have made, to undo wrongs and make them right... 

But it is like the poet once said,

"I made a choice that I regret,
Now what I see is what I get
It's too late to look back
I've got no way to switchback."

No way to switchback.  No way to undo.  No way no how no help.  The only thing before me now is to face what I have become, to face this unmasked creature from within, to take the sword and slay the dragon that I have allowed to consume my soul!  But... there is just one problem.  I do not have the strength of one man, let alone ten thousand.  My attempt to reach for a sword falls flat; I cannot even lift a finger.  This new sight has caused me to collapse as though dead on the ground, to be surrounded by darkness. 

And it is in this darkness that I...


...to be continued...

School Monitors And Monsters in Meridian

I could hardly believe my ears when I heard the news.  It was horrifying news...  As if there was any good news today.  A corpse found floating in a canal.  An infant found burned in a burning barrel. Both bad.  One horrifying.  But perhaps even more disturbing- the news that a Meridian Middle School counselor was arrested over the weekend for child porn charges.  As I read the story this evening, the story only became worse...

Apparently said "counselor" is a part of an online group that shares child porn.  He pleaded guilty in court today to these charges... and worse.  Not only did he claim that he had produced some of that porn; but on top of that, it was revealed that a minor child was found in his home at the time of the police raid, a boy that he had been raping for the past several months.  The boy spoke of other boys this monster had abused... 

There are several things that drive me mad about this case.  The fact that this man was in the schools...  Only God knows how many victims he may have had there.  The more pressing question though, is this:  Did anyone at the school know about this?  Had there been any complaints made to the school administration?  I would love to say that I have confidence that no one knew of his secret.  I would love to say that no child had came forward to issue a complaint about inapropriate behaviour.  UNFORTUNATELY...  Recent history, history so disturbing, history from a much more prestigous schoool... Penn State...  This history has taught us that we cannot take any school official at their word concerning these matters... 

What happened at Penn State, some may say is an isolated incident.  But is it?  The level of corruption was so deep; no man with any sanity or love for innocence would have dared imagine...  The fact that so many knew and looked the other way...  With such a high profile case that has just sent shock waves across the nation, does Meridian Middle School really expect our community to not question how extensive their knowledge was of this situation? 

These are our children we are talking about.  We, as a community have put our children in their care.  We expect them to keep them safe.  It is not beyond comprehension for us to feel betrayed... 

The question remains now, what should be done?  What measure of justice to level out?  The counselor has already plead guilty...  I will give you my opinion, however harsh.

First off, we must DEMAND an investigation into the school.  We MUST demand that authorities take a long hard look into this case, to establish if there have been any prior incidents, to establish if there has been any other victim that may have came forward only to be ignored.  We must demand answers until we are assured that the school had no knowledge of this crime; and if there were those who knew and looked away- they must be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

As far as this supposed counselor: it is a favor to society to move on without a trial.  Investigate him further, yes.  We must discover what other victims he may have.  But beyond that spare us the trial.  Spare the taxpayers.  Spare the children the trauma of reliving their stories.  And make the investigation a quick one...  And his sentence a quick one. 

There is only one judgement that can truly bring any kind of justice.  You see, this counselor has already sentenced his victims to a lifetime of suffering.  A life, for a life.  That is what a true and just sentence would be.  If he lives- he will live on with the possibility of offending again.  He will live on in a jail cell, where he will not regret what he has done- but rather his sick and twisted mind will relive, again and again to his demented pleasure, the pain of his victims.  No- no prison time for this man. 

In such cases as this, we must move forward to change the laws.  We must give judges the authority to level out what is fit for this crime.  This man, this monster that was hired by we the people to watch over our children, this vile filth that abused the hearts of those he was supposed to protect, must pay the ultimate price.  Capital punishment.  Execution. 

It is time that we start taking this crime seriously.  It is time we stop pretending the abuser is the victim.  How is it fair that the abuser and the victim both live on reliving the crime, one in pleasure the other in pain?  No.  Protect children of the future.  Let judges put molestors to death, and be done with it.

The Ukranian Love Song

Talk about a blast from the past...  I was looking at my blog stats tonight, and I couldn't help but notice that someone from Ukraine has been reading my writings...  Ah, Ukraine...  that country brings back the memories.  You see, I went on a short term 2 week mission trip in the grand year of 2000 to a little town called Boradyanka, which is about 50 kilometers outside of the Ukranian capital of Kiev.  Kiev is really one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to in my life; it's like the Seattle green on steroids.  Of course, it wasn't just the scenery that was so fascinating...  the people were extraordinarily nice; the history was exciting to learn about; and the food was excellent!!  They serve this dish over there, it is chicken fried in this batter...  not like anything I have had here.  I wish I could have that recipee.  It was simply the best chicken I have ever eaten!

I have so many thoughts about Ukraine.  I can honestly say that I often wish that I could visit there again.  I wish I could see the people I met again.  There was the old pastor of the church I worked out of...  Such a nice man, but it was comical in a sense to me how he never missed an after lunch nap.  There was the host family- we stayed in their son's house.  He was on the Ukranian soccer team, so he wasn't home much.  But they took good care of us.  They had this crazy dog that hated us though!  No kidding, it was like cujo on meth!  It wasn't very big, only about knee high- similar in looks to a heeler.  But you could not have paid me to go within 10 feet of that thing.  It became almost demonic when it would see us...  and you could hear the anger in it's voice, almost as if it were saying "come here so I can bite your face off!" in every bark.  When I say we, of course I am meaning me and my translator Bobby.  He was a great kid, and I loved getting to know him.

I think the thing that has always stuck out most in my mind from Boradyanka, though, was the question.  Everyone wanted to know why an American like me would come to po-dunk little tiny Boradyanka.  Why would I travel half way around the world to a place with maybe a couple thousand people in population.  Everywhere we went, that was the most asked question.  The answer, of course, was always the same- I came as a missionary, to tell them about Jesus Christ and what He had done in my life.  The good news of the Gospel!  They were people I had never met before, may never see again- but God had placed a love in me for them, a desire to take His Word to them, to tell them they could have freedom, love, victory, salvation- a life changing experience...

I remember one woman in particular.  I don't remember her name, but she was an older woman in her 60's.  The pastor took us to her house, and we sat and talked for a while about life- and about God.  It was truly a heartbreaking conversation as the discussion went on...  It came to a point where she finally broke down.  Through tears she confessed that she wanted to be a Christian but just couldn't be.  I asked her why, and her answer was- I don't know.  I just know I can't.  It took almost an hour of pouring over Scripture, reasoning with her, assuring her, teaching her about the love of Christ...  Finally before we left she made the step.  She put aside her fears and set down her confusion.  Her tears were turned from sadness to joy as she opened her heart to Christ.

There are many stories I could tell from this short time I was away from American soil...  And over time I will tell more.  But I have something on my mind tonight that needs to be said.

We need a missionary mind here in America.  Why is it that we have to travel across the oceans to hear stories like hers?  It shouldn't be that way at all...  I was reading with my son in the book of Acts recently when I came across this verse:  "And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart." Acts 2:46  I think that this verse holds a key to something that so desperately needs to happen here in America.  What is it you ask?  "singleness of heart".  One heart.  Take a look at the churches in China, and ask yourself where is the division of calvanist and armenian.  Take a look at the believers in Indonesia and ask yourself where are the Nazarene verses the Baptists.  Take a look at the new testament church and ask yourself where were the people who refused to work with each other because they didn't always agree on every little detail.  Then compare these churches to the American body of believers, and ask yourself when was the last time we had one heart.

We have walled ourselves in to our buildings, walled ourselves up from each other, forcing the chambers of our heart to beat at differing rythyms, never in synch, risking the health of the Body.  All the while, outside our walls lay the broken, the lost, those in desperate need to hear the Gospel.  Who will go to them?  And when we go what will they see?  Will they know we are Christians by the love we have for each other?  When we tell them our testimony of how Christ has changed our life, will our words hold any integrity at all?

When I think back to Ukraine, I think of people like that lady, so convinced she could not know the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  I think of the boys on the street who had never heard the Gospel before.  And I think of all those in America in the same place as them.  They are people who will not set foot in a church.  They are the people whom we must leave our walls behind to find.  And they are the people who need to be reached by a Body of believers, the FAMILY of God, beating with one heart...

Yes, I said family.  There are so many broken families these days... don't we have anything better to offer them?  People, the time is NOW- we must put down our differences.  We must put aside the trivial.  No, I did not say put aside truth- for truly some would try and carry this same message but emphasize dropping truth and compromising the Word of God.  I am not talking about that.  I am talking about true believers, unwilling to replace the word of God, bold in their convictions, going from house to house- or wherever the Spirit leads- in singleness of heart.

Do you want to see revival in America?  Do you want to see a spiritual awakening to God's truth in the United States?  Do you want to see a Holy Spirit movement that makes this the land not just of the free, but the free from sin, death, shame, the free in Christ?  Then my brothers and sisters, it is time that we realize we will be in Heaven for a very long time together, so we better get used to each other now.  We are family.  We have a nation of lost souls that need us to act on love for each other.  Let's get together, one heart, no walls!!!

Attack of the 50 Foot Chicken Sandwich

I sit quietly at my table, preparing to eat my tasty dinner.  I have been ready to eat for some time, and my stomach reminds me that I have allowed too much time between meals.  I open the wrapper and inhale the delicous scent of the chicken sandwich.  My mouth waters. But then, much to my surprise, the chicken patty comes to life and begins screaming hateful slurs at me.  It picks up a sign that clearly states "I hate gays!" in bold print, waving it defiently in my face.  To top it all off, the chicken then grabs a pickle from the now barren bun and flings it in my face.  I sit back astonished, stunned, horrified.  All I can think is- I should have known.  I should have known!  Eating here, at Chik-Fil-A, was a huge mistake.  After all, the owner is nothing but a hateful bigot.  I heard it myself!  The news told me all about his "comments", and I use that term loosely.  They were nothing but pure hate...

Or were they?

While it is true that the chicken sandwich did not really attack me, what is true is this:  My exageration of my lunchtime adventure was as ridiculous as the exageration of what the Chik-Fil-A controversy is.  Let us examine what the company president Dan Cathy actually said: "We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that."  It is that quote, that statement and that statement ALONE, that has erupted into a national firestorm controversy.  It is those words that has caused celebrities to publicly decry the chicken specialists, and has spurred mayors to refuse business licenses to the popular franchise.  But look carefully- there are no hate filled slurs.  There is no bigotry.  Just a comment that Chik-Fil-A supports the traditional Biblical definition of marriage.  Not once did he say, "I hate gays".  No where in there are the words "gays aren't human" or "kill the gays".  Not even a word against homosexuality.  In fact, notice what he DIDN'T say- he didn't say homosexuality was wrong.  He didn't say homosexuals were evil.  He didn't say anything against them- just that, as a company, they support traditional family marriage.

 So the question, then, is not- why did he make hateful comments; rather, why is there such a reaction to it?  Millions of Americans feel the same way that Mr. Cathy feel.  The truth is, there is such strong support for traditional, heterosexual marriage that whenever the legalization of homosexual marriage is put on a ballot the American people ALWAYS vote to keep it between one man and one woman.  So if Mr. Cathy is, in fact, on the same level of thinking as most Americans- we must ask again, what is the real issue here?

I think that we need to come to an understanding.  We need to realize this very basic point: it is not, and never has been, about marriage.  Oh sure there are a few homosexuals here and there that really believe the debate is all about whether or not they can marry someone that has all the same body parts that they do.  But reality speaks when we listen, and the movement as a whole has nothing to do with wedlock.  What it does deal with is acceptance.  The real agenda is making sure that everyone- and I mean, everyone- accepts them, coddles them, condones their every choice.  It is not who can marry who, but who will accept their choice as normal.  The idea that some members of society still believe that their choice is a sin and not to be condoned or accepted as "o.k." is a very loathsome idea indeed, and those ideas of sin must be stomped out. 

No, my friend- it is not about whether or not Steve can wear a wedding dress or Mary a tux on their wedding day.  It is all about whether or not the good reverend can stand in a pulpit and declare homosexuality a sin.  It makes them uncomfortable to think that some believe God will not accept them into heaven unless they repent!  And at the end of the day we must realize that we will all eventually be required to take a side on this issue.  If we stay back now, cowering under a banner of false love, we are only prolonging the inevitable; for the fight will eventually come to us.  They will make sure to bring it.  And for the record, I say false love because true love speaks truth; even when it is unpopular.

Of course, Chik-Fil-A wandered in to this controversy like a chicken to the slaughter.  But not like any chicken, mind you.  No, more like a brave chicken, willing to challenge the farmer's axe.  For that, they deserve much credit.  They not only believe in traditional marriage, they hold strong to their convictions, despite the protests, despite the slander, despite every evil word that has been uttered against them- they have not bowed down to the idol of tolerance.  They have issued no apology, no hasty press release saying "we didn't mean that".  Despite the attack on their first ammendment right of free speech, they have not wavered in what they said.

It is with this, these final words I must relate to you- that I gladly stand in support of Chik-Fil-A.  I am proud to call Mr. Cathy my brother in Christ.  It is with their example, that I can look and say there is still courage in the American church, still strength to be willing to do what is right.  Thank you Chik-Fil-A for being an inspiration, a hope, a reflection of truth- and the love of God- in this dark society.

Love Your Brother, Hate Your Brother

So yesterday evening I was walking with my wife in downtown Nampa, having a nice stroll when we came across the Blue Eye tavern...  now there are two realities here; first, the blue eye is a creepy place.  Not a place we visit, just one we hope would close down.  Second, we have a tendancy to attract strange people...  It is almost like they flock to us...  Case in point- a strange lady came up to us, this older asian woman with long black hair- and a white stripe dyed down the center of said hair, giving the illusion that she was wearing the scalp of a skunk on her head. 

So she comes up to us and whispers, "come here" and motions us about 2 feet away from the door of the blue eye.  Then looking around, in a hushed voice, says- "I just want to ask you if the blue eye is open..."  She then continues talking all about how great the club is...  Keep in mind she has to be in her late 50's, so that adds to the bizarness of the situation...

While she was a little strange, the thing is, when we are out we encounter a lot of strange people.  But sometimes they are strange people- in the Body.  People who are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, who just seem a little on the odd side.  Yes, I know that I am odd, but I am talking a different kind of odd. 

Then there is the other type of odd... the type that drives you crazy...  the type that even make you mad...  Have you ever experienced that?  I know I have.  Now understand, it takes a lot to make me mad.  But sometimes you meet those people that are like a thorn in your side.  There is just something about them that grates on your nerves...  Like fingernails across a chalkboard... (shudders)

I think that we need to come to an understanding.  Sometimes people make us mad; and that is ok.  It is ok to not always get along.  It is ok to have differences of opinion.  It is ok even to get in arguements sometimes.  But what is NOT ok is letting those differences breed hate.  The apostle John  writes in 1 John 2 that if we hate our brother, we do not walk in the light of Christ but rather are blinded by darkness.  This is a very serious warning he issues us...  And we must be careful to guard our heart against hate.

"But I don't hate, I wouldn't hate anyone!" you say.  Maybe so- but then, often times hate sneaks in unexpected.  Like an unseen enemy it grips our heart, and often we do not see it until it has consumed us.  How do we stop such an enemy before it takes hold?  How do we combat such a powerful foe?

The first and most important step is communication.  When our brothers and sisters anger us, we must communicate it with God.  We must take it to Him in prayer, with a humble heart.  Then we must do the hard thing- we must be willing to take it to our brother or sister.  We must not hold on to it!  If we do not let it go then we will only end up giving in- to hate.

The question becomes then, why do we insist on holding on to our anger when our focus should be on the real enemy?  We must take every effort to put our differences aside, taking down walls of difference- even walls of anger- and allow wounds to heal.  We must join together as the Body, working as the Body in order to reach the world around us. 

Do you have anger or hate in your heart for a brother or sister?  It is time to put it down.  It is time we fight to win- and fight we must, by waging war against angry division.  End the hate. Pray to god. Love your brother.

Rising From The Ashes of A Dark Night

As a woman lies in the hospital in critical condition, begging for her 6 year old little girl that was killed, I must be honest- I had been looking forward to this weekend for well over a year.  Even as the man learns his son is one of the dead, bringing forth that age old saying that a parent should never have to bury their own child, I must confess that I was filled with excitement leading up to this past weekend.  And as a father lay dead on a theater floor, his 2 sons alive but heartbroken, I had been thrilled at the idea of taking my own son to The Dark Knight Rises- what I believed would be the best movie of this year..

I don't know about the best movie...  I haven't the heart to go see it yet.  But I guess you could say it is the most tragic movie of the year.  What human with a heart is not moved to tears at the horror that unfolded early Friday morning at the movies in Aurora Colorado?   One man- one evil man- shooting and injuring up to 71 people, killing 12 of them.  12 people dead, from 6 to almost 60.  A man dressed, ironically, like the main villain of this last Batman movie. 

Those who left the theater among the living must be thinking, why am I still alive...  While those that were killed have families asking, why were they killed.  And those of us who were outsiders to this story are left asking- why did it happen in the first place?

As I ponder this thought, I am reminded of a scene from the previous Batman movie: The Dark Knight.  If you will, recall with me, when Bruce Wayne and his loyal butler Alfred were discussing the possible motives of the madman known as the joker.  Wayne was having difficulty wrapping his mind around the joker's actions, which appeared to be for anything but money, power or fame...  In wisdom, Alfred commented that sometimes the wicked do what they do for no other reason other than, they are just evil.  I think it would be fair to say, that the writers unknowingly gave us insight into this man's actions Friday morning...  Perhaps his motivation, his driving force was nothing more than- he is evil.  The truth is the easiest explanation- we are all born sinners; but some embrace the darkness much more than others...

I will not take the step, as some have, to use this time of great sadness to push a political point or theory.  There are discussions to be had, to ask what could have been done differently, to ask what can we as citizens do to try and avert such crime from happening again.  We must investigate further, pursuing truth in this case, willing to explore the possibility he was not working alone, and we must turn over the rock and see if there is more danger lurking.  Those discussions are fair and should be held.  But what must not be done, on either side of the political aisle, is to use this as a weapon or tool to push an agenda.  This man has already unleashed enough firepower on us; let us not take up his torment and fire it upon ourselves or our neighbor.  No; the time of playing off the pain of victims is something we must elevate ourselves above- lest we become as much a monster as the man responsible.  It is sick and wrong to take advantage of such loss of life...

What must be done instead, is to look at the frailty of life.  To accept the truth that we are not immortal.  To understand that we have such a short time on this planet.  Whether it be 1 or 100 years we are given, the reality is we just don't know when we take that last breath.  The words of one victim should ring ever true in our hearts and minds- "I was shown how fragile life was... I saw the terror on bystanders' faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we don't know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath," said  Jessica Ghawi, after surviving a mass shooting at a Toronto shopping mall- before she was killed, this time in the Colorado shootings. 

We must take advantage of the time given us.  We must make the most of our lives.  We must not waste it.  There is one message, one recurring theme portrayed in the character of Batman; that tragedy can turn into triumph.  We can overcome the evil that drives men like Mr. Holmes. We can learn that if we can endure the pain and accept God's healing hand upon our heart, we can become better, stronger, wiser.  If we will hold on to it, we can rest assured that when it seems we are in the darkest night of our lives, hope is not lost; for we can turn to the One who is Hope incarnate.

My dear friends, as the weekend now turns into the week, as we move forward in our lives, I ask this one simple request.  Do not go unchanged, unmoved by the tragedy of this past weekend.  I know that most who read this will not have been personnally affected by this- but I pray you will be mentally and spiritually affected.  I pray that you will move forward, never taking life or your loved ones for granted.  Hold your loved ones closer than you ever have before.  Make each moment of your life count.  Do not waste it but use it for the purpose that God has given to you.  Most importantly, remember- when the darkness closes in and is suffocating to your soul- remember that hope is not lost, if you would just reach out for it.  Seek hope always, my friends.  It can only be truly found at the foot of the cross, at the empty tomb, in the mercy of Christ the Messiah- but if we hold to that hope, then we WILL overcome the night- and we shall rise from the ashes, rise from the tragedies, rise from whatever comes our way to destroy us.  We will rise!

The Salt of the Earth

I hate it.  I absolutely despise it.  Blech.  It tastes nasty, it is grainy, it dries out my mouth...  Nope, salt is not for me.  I don't add salt to anything I eat; I avoid it at all cost.  But there is something about it that, despite my feelings, is necessary.  The very nature of our body was created to be in need of a certain amount of the nasty stuff.  On top of that it has for thousands of years been a flavor enhancer, but more importantly, a preservative.  Not one that I would have personally picked, but- I digress.

Preservative...  salt...  It reminds me of something Jesus once said: "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men."  Matthew 5:13

 Have you ever wondered what that means?  What was Jesus referring to when He said that we are the salt of the earth?  And why would He choose salt? Blech...  But then, realize that when He spoke every Word had meaning, and a much deeper one than what we see on the surface.  We are the salt of the earth...  But if the salt has lost his savour...

Going back to my original thought, the idea that salt not only gives flavor but is a preservative...  What is a preservative? It is something that we add to a food item in order to make the said food last longer.  Food without it will spoil faster.  So we add the stuff in an effort to make it last as long as humanly possible.  Add that concept into the idea that we are the salt- or preservative- of the world.  What do you think that means?  How does salt get used?  It has to actually be applied, right?  And when it is applied it is done liberally, and with hope- hope that it will have some lasting effect, that it will make a difference. 

As Christians, we must ask ourselves this question- are we fulfilling our role?  Are we allowing ourselves to be used in hope to preserve the earth as best we can until He returns?  Now before you think I have gone on some enviro-friendly trip, let me assure you that is not what I am talking about.  Let me explain:  We all know this earth is a rotten place to live.  Everything seems to be falling apart right before our eyes; and each generation things get worse and worse.  We also know from Scripture that it won't be too long before the final prophecies are fulfilled- the end times are, indeed, just around the corner...  But what are we to do in the meantime?  Are we to just sit on our couches at home?  Are we to go on with our lives, steadily plodding towards the finish line without a care in the world?  Is that what a preservative does?  God forbid it!  We are the salt of the earth!  We are to go out in hope that God will use our talents, that He will use us to preserve the earth as best we can until His return!  That means preaching the Word, the good news of the Gospel which is our flavor; it means standing for what is right; it means hoping for a move of God that will shake foundations and bring people to their knees in repentance!!! To do anything less is to be fulfilling the exact opposite of our role! 

But we must also understand something else.  A single grain of salt will not do much to preserve or flavor.  When we separate ourselves apart, when we build walls that divide us, we are not very effective.  Listen carefully to this: YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY GRAIN OF SALT!!!  We have bought into this idea that we must have these walls built up around us, around our churches, around our denominations.  We have bought into a philosophy that says that we cannot work with someone who goes to the church down the road.  We have walled around our ground, staked our claim, raised our flag and sounded the alarm- against each other!    And while we sit in our bunkers, hiding our face from other believers who don't look, talk, walk or sound like us, the world rots around us, a lack of preservative whithering it away...

Now understand, the salt must remain pure- false teachers and false prophets will arise in attempt to deceive.  But I am not talking about that here.  I am talking about brothers and sisters in the faith, members of the same Body of Christ who would rather cut each other from the Body than work in effort to make a true difference in this land.  But what would happen if we took down these walls?  What if instead of refusing to work together, we instead stood side by side, building each other up, praying for each other, supporting each other?  What would happen?  If differences became a matter of simple discussion instead of angry debate?  If our attacks focused on the enemy instead of each other?

Here is the reality of the situation- we are in a desperate hour.  The lost, the broken, the hopeless surround us.  The harvest, my friends, is ready- but the workers are few, and too busy building walls of division to make a difference.  Will we see in time?  Will we decide in time that some things are not worth fighting over?  Will we wake up, tear down the walls we have built, move forward together with the Gospel, and be the salt of the earth? Or have we all together lost our savor?

To Hope Or not To Hope; That Is The Question

I am sure that you know by now that I was as surprised as you that Obamacare was not overturned last week.  I think that we all were expecting to see the Supreme Court rule differently than it did.  How could 9 people, sworn to uphold the Constitution, charged with ensuring that Congress never strayed from her, the people’s supposed last defense against overreaching government, look socialism in all it’s wickedness dead in the face and turn aside to allow it to devour the American people?  Without a doubt it will impact America more than any other decision that we have seen perhaps since Roe V. Wade.  And to think that the one justice that we all believed would be on our side, that would surely rule with wisdom and cast this monstrosity aside, the one sure man we could count on-  cast his lot with the liberal justices, leaving his name and reputation to be compared to the likes of Judas Iscariot in the mind of many conservatives.

Upon initially hearing of this I was at first distraught, angry, and heartbroken all at the same time.  My emotions were raging, a swirl of thoughts going through my brain like a hurricane.  How could this be, I thought?  Anyone with a mild understanding of the Constitution could see that this law stood for everything the founders of our Country did not!  When the patriots began the Revolutionary War, it was to overthrow the yoke of tyranny placed around their necks by Britain.  The government that had become a slavemaster, mandating what could and could not be bought, taxing without relief, ruling with an iron fist- THAT government had to go.  So they fought, they spent their gold until there was none left to spend, they sacrificed, they shed their blood, and many even died for the belief that government is of the people, by the people, and for the people.  They gave their all to overcome.  And now we find ourselves 236 years later, our Supreme Court upholding law that represents the very nature of the beast that they had slain…  Despite the will of the people.

After all our prayers…  After all our rallies…  After all our letters and phone calls, all our pleading, all our raised voices in anger, all for naught.

 Upon first glance, it is easy to feel defeated.  It is easy to hang our heads and go home.  It is easy to surrender.  It is easy to lose all hope.  The demon of socialism, it seems, has finally wrestled liberty from our grip; we have lost too much ground; there is no coming back from this abyss that our foot has slipped into.  The Government has the power now, and there is no returning back from this grave.

Yes, it is easy to give in to those feelings.  It is easy to talk about no hope; to talk about no chance. But the reality is that we have NOT yet sacrificed for this cause of righteousness.  Rather, we have been seeking after our own gain.  We have been seeking our own treasure.  We have given lip service to the ideals we profess, but we have not yet issued one drop of blood- or even sweat- for that which we claim to hold so dear.  And while we have been busy seeking after the American dream, the enemy has enclosed around us a socialized nightmare!  Because of this, we are left in shatters, with so many of us talking about giving in to the nightmare- for there is no light left…

 But brothers and sisters, I implore you to listen!  Listen to what the enemy will NOT tell you; that despite them, despite what they have done, despite what they will no doubt continue to attempt, there is ONE GLARING FACT that CANNOT be ignored:  LIBERTY WILL NOT DIE UNTIL THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN HER GIVE UP!!!

We can be downcast, but I ask what will that gain us?  We can be downtrodden, but what will that gain us?  We can buy the lie that all hope is lost, BUT WHAT WILL THAT GAIN US?  I say, NO!  NOW is NOT the time to hang our heads in defeat!  Now is NOT the time to accept loss!!  Now is NOT the time to surrender hope, but rather to cling to it!  We must clench our fist tightly, grit our teeth, and renew our resolve!  If we fold now, then we are no better than the tyrannists that wish to rule over us!  They may have won this battle, but we must remember that they will NOT win this war!

But there is only one way.  There is only one path to victory.  There is only one hope.  We MUST put our personal desires aside.  We must put our pride down.  We must put our differences aside and unite together in this fight.  And we must repent.  Repent for being more concerned with personal achievement than defending liberty.  Repent for allowing ourselves to be comfortable with the socialist demons that have crept in amongst us.  Repent for turning our backs on the ideals that founded this Country.  Repent for the murders of the innocent, the greed, the debauchery, the self-worship that have offended the very God who inspired our forefathers to form this great nation known as the United States!

We have a decision to make, my friends.  Now is the time that we must decide whether or not we will lay down and give up in defeat, or if we will stand on our convictions, stand for what is right, stand our ground and never give up hope.  What will you choose?  As for me and my house, we will choose the Lord… And we will choose hope!

Of Lively Hopes and Anti-Depressants in the Easter Basket

I couldn't believe it.  The Words nearly jumped off the page at me...  Like a shot in the dark, a blast from the past, so to speak...  I had read it a hundred times before and NEVER seen it- how could I have missed it?  But isn't that the way it works when it comes to the Word of God?  We read the Bible again and again in our devotions, re-reading and re-reading, and then one day- something just pops from the page and lands in our lap... 

So was the case the other morning, when I was reading from 1 Peter 1, specifically verses 3-6.  Here, allow me to quote them for you:  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a LIVELY hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptable, and undefiled, and that fades not away, reserved in Heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith to salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Wherein you GREATLY rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, you are in heaviness through manifold temptations"

Any thoughts on what I picked out as the two key words of that passage?  I will give you a minute to talk amongst yourselves and see if you can discover the answer... 

OK, time is up- the key words I chose for this experiment are:  LIVELY, and GREATLY...  I sat and pondered these words for a bit...  And it hit me...  Maybe it was because of all the depression commercials I have seen on t.v. lately...  maybe it is because sometimes when you look at the world, it is hard not to get down...  Seems like there is always someone getting shot, or some earthquake or tornado killing and maiming people, or yet another threat of war...  So many things to bring us down...  And yet here is Peter writing about a LIVELY hope and GREATLY rejoicing! 

Now I know what you are thinking- well, he was probably having a good moment right then.  A lot of good things were probably happening to him, you know like what I hear from some of these televangelists...  I am sure he was probably the rich guy, driving the limo cart, only the finest oxen, people throwing money at him as he walked by, women mobbing him everywhere he went holding signs that read "Marry Me Peter" and stuff like that...  Well, the cold hard truth is it was nothing like that for him.  No riches or mansions here on earth for this guy.  If he had any popularity it would have been with all the jail gaurds he met on a regular basis as he sat in prison just for talking about Jesus.  Oh, and then there was that part where he ended up crucified too...   Yeah he was having the time of his life, all right!

Let's be honest- we would look at his situation and ask ourselves, how in the world could this guy be penning those words- LIVELY and GREATLY?  He has every reason to just sit down, put on his frowny face, and get depressed.  Isn't that what a lot of us would do?  No, in reality we would have raised the depression flag long before this was written.  How do I know that?  Just look at our society- it seems every 5 minutes there is another ad reminding us that "depression hurts everyone"...  We are bombarded with imagery of people sitting on their couch or laying in their bed, looking like they just watched their best friend tortured to death in front of them...  And why?  Because there is yet another one of the newest and greatest anti-depressants on the market that you just HAVE to try!  I swear it seems as though the pharmecutecal companies actually WANT people to be depressed!!!  Always they are coining new conditions that explain why we feel so bad, always pushing their products that will supposedly make us happy...

NOW WAIT!  Before you get mad- understand something.  I am not making light of people who deal with depression.  Not at all.  I know some may read this and raise their voice claiming I have no right I don't understand, etc. etc.  But let me share some thoughts with you- first off, I do understand...  at least to some degree.  No, I never went to a doctor, but when I was in high school I think I could easily fit into the stereotypical "manic depressant".  Depression was a way of life for me- and to be honest, sometimes it still is!  It is tough- it is no fun to be depressed. 

But here is where we need to understand something- depression is an emotion, and like ALL emotions, if we let them go unchecked they will control us!  It is not that getting depressed is wrong, what crosses lines is HOW we deal with it.  We also need to understand that we are not alone- believe it or not, even some great men of God went through some pretty traumatic depression...  Who, you say?  Well how about Elijah the prophet for one...   1 Kings 19, read that and tell me the guy was not about as low as you can go!

But I digress...  Look, here is the point I am trying to make- as Christians, do we realize the power in the words that Peter wrote?  Do we in our lives display a LIVELY hope?  Even if we don't deal with depression, the reality is too often we go through life looking like our dog was just ran over, never happy, always complaining...  Yet Peter in his affliction said that we have a LIVELY hope!  That we are to GREATLY rejoice- and check this- EVEN if we are going through hell and don't feel like we can lift our heads! 

So the question then remains- why?  Why should I choose to rejoice instead of choosing to wallow in my sorrow?  BECAUSE of the HOPE we have, a hope of that which is incorruptible, undefiled and NEVER fades away- a treasure so great that it compels us to pour all of our very being into this inheritance.  And it is made possible by one thing:  Resurrection!  The resurrection, Jesus Christ crucified for a wretch of sinners like you and I, but not bound by death- rather conquering it on the third day, and in so doing placing before us the very reason WHY we have a lively hope, that should be filling us to the point we are greatly rejoicing... 

As I close this out, I am reminded that tomorrow is Easter.  And with Easter comes the opportunity to recommit to that hope.  With Easter comes the choice that is placed before us- to continue to let this world be a drain on our emotions, to continue to let people shove more lies down our throat, to continue to be inneffective, to continue to be a slave wrapped in chains of the trials of this world...  Or we can get up, we can look our trials dead in the eye, holding tight to our promise that our God is greater, that our God is stronger, that our God has defeated the darkness, and taking the message of Easter, the reality of the empty tomb, the LIVELY hope that is given to us and let it spark a fire within us, GREATLY rejoicing in the mercy of God- and take that message to the world of broken, hurting people who need to know the healing love of Jesus Christ...

What is your choice?

Cowboys From Hell and The War Against Women

I was in high school the first time I heard it.  A good friend of mine shared it with me, and I can honestly say that it was the first time- and last time- I willingly listened to the heavy metal group Pantera.  Now don't misunderstand- I LOVE heavy metal.  And when it comes to music, if I were to be truthful, I have a rather eclectic taste, a wide range that encompases almost every genre.  Everything from Tenth Avenue North to Demon Hunter, from Anberlin to the Newsboys, T-Bone to Rodney Atkins, Relient K to Beethoven has graced my speakers with their presence and to the delight of my listening ears.  But never again Pantera... 

The song was "Cowboys From Hell", and can I say that my ears were telling me that it was probably being played in hell as a method of torture.  I absolutely didn't like it, and I will be honest- a big part of it was the lyrics.  I happen to LOVE the poetry behind a good song.  But "Cowboys From Hell"... Well...  I guess you could say that I just couldn't picture Pantera as a cowboy from anywhere, and the utter contradiction was incredibly ridiculous. 

Now I know what you may be thinking; why am I bringing up an obscure song from the 90's in a blog about the current supposed "war on women"?  A good question you (hypothetically) have posed...  And the reasoning is quite simple.  You see, in the same way I could not wrap my mind around the idea of a bunch of long haired, guitar thrashing, growling men being "cowboys" of any kind- so in the same respect I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around who is leading the debate on this "war" that is apparently being waged on the feminine side of our species.

At the forefront and leading the charge is none other than groups like Planned Parenthood.  This is especially true here in my home state of Idaho, where a recent legislative attempt to mandate ultrasounds before an abortion has sparked a wave of action from Margeret Sanger's minions, with their faithful sidekick ACLU close behind.  Apparently they feel that it is a most horrifying, perhaps even demonic attack from the "right".  This, coupled with the recent debate over whether or not the government should force average Joe citizen to buy birth control for little Suzy's extra extra-curricular activity and the third wheel of a comment made by a radio talk show host has made the topic seem, by all the news coverage, to be the most important thing happening all across the nation.  "The factory has laid off another 200 people, but before that we HAVE to talk about THE WAR ON WOMEN"...  "Iran is about to accomplish their task of completing a nuclear weapon, but what "people" are really concerned about now is the "weapons" right wing fundamentalists are using to attack women all over America"...  And on and on the news coverage goes.

O.K. it may not be quite that bad, but you get my point.  The funny thing is that, in all honesty, I completely agree with the left on this.  I will be the first to stand in line and join Planned Parenthood in the chorus that there IS a "war on women".  BUT we will soon part ways, as they realize that we disagree on who the enemy is. 

And I believe the enemy is the very people leading the charge of defense... 

WHAT?!  How could I say that? you ask.  Fair enough.  Let me explain:  Remember the "Cowboys From Hell"?  Well, in my mind that is Planned Parenthood.  They make their phone calls and write their e-mails to their legislators about how the right hates women.  They go to their friends in the media, with a broken heart mentality, crying about the evils those demons on the right are perpetrating on women.  They hold their rallies screaming and shrieking about how they are going to make a difference, that they are here for war, not going down without a fight, fending off those that hate women.  And all the while, if the truth were to be known- if the curtain could be pulled back, exposing what was really in their heart, oh how so many women would be shocked to see that it is not some mystical wizard or galliant warrior...  No, no, no my friends...  The black heart of hate is all that would be found.  For in truth, it is they that hate women more than any other.

How dare I say such a thing, right?  You may be offended, and that is fine; just rest assured that it is sadly true.  Let's look at the facts, and understand who really is leading the charge on the war against women.

First off, who is it that is always fighting against things like "informed consent" and ultrasounds before an abortion?  Planned Parenthood.  Why is that a bad thing, you ask?  Understand, by their own financial records, they are annually a BILLION DOLLAR industry.  That is a BILLION dollars that they make, primarily from one thing: abortion.  Kind of brings new meaning to that old Alice Cooper song "Billion Dollar Babies" doesn't it?  But I digress...  Planned Parenthood's main selling points on abortion are that it is safe, and that it is not actually taking the life of a child.  But when faced with facts that many women HAVE been injured and even died from the proceedure puts doubt in the mind about safety, and when a woman comes face to face with her child moving around, waving his or her arms, even the proverbial sucking of the thumb- it does not take an overactive imagination to see the truth that it is, in fact, a living child.

As with any product or proceedure, full knowledge leads to one thing that all sellers hate- the loss of a customer. Planned Parenthood knows as well as anyone that, a woman fully informed, could lead to a woman walking out the door.  If too many women choose to keep their child instead of "aborting"- well, let's just say they wouldn't be a billion dollar powerhouse for long.

When it comes to birth control, we must look again at who reaps the true rewards...  And once again we need not look any further than Planned Parenthood.  Why is this, you ask?  Because another part of their empire is distributing birth control.  A seemingly harmless "service" for the godless society...  But look closer at something.  The more people have sex, the more they buy "contraceptives".  If they buy from Planned Parenthood, then Planned Parenthood profits from the woman being sexually active.  If by some chance the woman ends up pregnant, well no worries!  Planned Parenthood is there for "counseling"!  And not to worry, only 2.4% of pregnant women who walk through their doors receive non-abortion services including adoption and prenatal care...  So let's get this straight- the woman gets contraceptive, Planned Parenthood profits; the woman gets pregnant, Planned Parenthood profits...  you could say they are invested, not in the stock market, but the sex market!  As far as why they may be interested in the government paying- well, there is the concern that if a woman cannot afford said birth control she will most likely be having LESS sex which means LESS profit...  But I digress.

Finally, the last bit of irony is in the "degrading" speech given to some women by "right-wing fundamentalists".  I guess I could take Planned Parenthood more seriously if I believed they actually cared about women.  Because while it may be true that some people have less than respectful language- on BOTH sides, I might add- what is also true is that Planned Parenthood has nothing to say about those who use women for "profit" in the pornography industry.  They never raise a voice of concern for the women in countries like China who are forced to have abortions.  They stay quiet on the war against women when it is one of the thousands of girls in the womb being aborted each year for the purpose of sex selection.  They have nothing to say about the millions of women who have been lied to about what is actually in their womb, lied to in order to ensure a profit can be made off of them, then leaving them broken emotionally, spiritually, and physically in some cases.  Just look at the case that made national headlines last year- Dr. Kermit, who not only killed a woman during an abortion but tried to cover it up...  and then there was that minor detail that he had been killing babies after they were born...  How many press conferences did Planned Parenthood do condemning him or his actions?  Oh, that's right- none.  The only thing they had to say publicly was when his case led to several states wanting stricter health inspections on all abortion clinics- they whined and whined about how "unfair" it was...

And while they whine and whine about a name that someone called some woman they are using for their personal agenda, the truth is they close their doors and laugh at all the women that have came through their doors like good little sheep to the butcher.  They are overjoyed when they accomplish their goal of a sexually active girl, knowing that for them the more she has sex the more they profit.  Their work has resulted in millions of broken, hurting women all over America.  They do their work intentionally, knowing what the end result will be.  They do it for money.  Tell me, how is that not a hate crime against women?

So as they lead their charge in the "war on women" I am once again reminded, that they are no better than the cowboys from hell...