My Destiny, Part One: Godforsaken by Law

I HAVE been called many things in my life.  There is no denying that.  Some has been justified, some- not so much.  Some has been hurtful, some- not so much.  I have been called hateful; and I have been called too loving.  I have been accused of being a mocker of God's Word; and I have been called someone who takes God's Word too seriously.  I have been called someone who caused division because I don't always agree with people; and I have been called a person who tries too hard to bring people together.  I have been labeled a hypocrite; and I have been hailed as a saint...  OK, maybe not literally on that last part, but you get the idea... :)

Yes, I have been called many things, have been many faces to many people...  But the real question is what am I when all the masks break away, when the different perceptions are gone, when I am stripped bare to face the throne of God...  When I am face down to the King of Kings, about to be judged by His law...

By His law...  I am someone who has held other gods- including myself- before Him.  I am an idolator.  I have taken His Name in vain, both literrally and figuratively.  I have mocked Him and His Word.  Instead of being at rest and peace with Him, I have waged war against Him in my heart.  I have disrespected my parents- indeed, the very gift of life itself.  I have hated my brother, secretly killing him in my heart.  I have lusted...  the very sin of adultery in the shadows of my mind.  I have stolen!  Things that were never meant to be mine, clutched tightly in my hands...  I have lied about my neighbor... and my neighbor's neighbor...  And the guy down the street...  And the girl 4 houses over...  Oh the stories I have told about them...  And why not?  After all, THEY get all the good stuff- the nice car that should be mine; the huge house that I should be living in... 

Hypocrite.

I admit it.

By His law, His holy Word, all of my good is stripped bare.  I am exposed before Him and before all for what I am.  I am an unclean thing.  ALL of my righteousness is as filthy rags.  I am dirty, disgusting, grimy, putrid.  What is there in me to be proud of?  What good in my life can I point to?  What love in my life, what light in my soul?

I am hypocrite.  Nothing more, nothing less.  All of those hurtful things that have been spoken of me... are all true.  I cannot deny them.  Every accusation- though I would flee from them, to run away and burrow away hiding from them, they hunt me down and devour me because they are truth.

I am nothing.  There is no good, no lovely thing about me.

I am Godforsaken, for He cannot look upon sin- and I am sin.

Now that the mask has deteriorated into dust I see for myself who I am.  How I long to be able to go back in time, to change choices I have made, to undo wrongs and make them right... 

But it is like the poet once said,

"I made a choice that I regret,
Now what I see is what I get
It's too late to look back
I've got no way to switchback."

No way to switchback.  No way to undo.  No way no how no help.  The only thing before me now is to face what I have become, to face this unmasked creature from within, to take the sword and slay the dragon that I have allowed to consume my soul!  But... there is just one problem.  I do not have the strength of one man, let alone ten thousand.  My attempt to reach for a sword falls flat; I cannot even lift a finger.  This new sight has caused me to collapse as though dead on the ground, to be surrounded by darkness. 

And it is in this darkness that I...


...to be continued...

School Monitors And Monsters in Meridian

I could hardly believe my ears when I heard the news.  It was horrifying news...  As if there was any good news today.  A corpse found floating in a canal.  An infant found burned in a burning barrel. Both bad.  One horrifying.  But perhaps even more disturbing- the news that a Meridian Middle School counselor was arrested over the weekend for child porn charges.  As I read the story this evening, the story only became worse...

Apparently said "counselor" is a part of an online group that shares child porn.  He pleaded guilty in court today to these charges... and worse.  Not only did he claim that he had produced some of that porn; but on top of that, it was revealed that a minor child was found in his home at the time of the police raid, a boy that he had been raping for the past several months.  The boy spoke of other boys this monster had abused... 

There are several things that drive me mad about this case.  The fact that this man was in the schools...  Only God knows how many victims he may have had there.  The more pressing question though, is this:  Did anyone at the school know about this?  Had there been any complaints made to the school administration?  I would love to say that I have confidence that no one knew of his secret.  I would love to say that no child had came forward to issue a complaint about inapropriate behaviour.  UNFORTUNATELY...  Recent history, history so disturbing, history from a much more prestigous schoool... Penn State...  This history has taught us that we cannot take any school official at their word concerning these matters... 

What happened at Penn State, some may say is an isolated incident.  But is it?  The level of corruption was so deep; no man with any sanity or love for innocence would have dared imagine...  The fact that so many knew and looked the other way...  With such a high profile case that has just sent shock waves across the nation, does Meridian Middle School really expect our community to not question how extensive their knowledge was of this situation? 

These are our children we are talking about.  We, as a community have put our children in their care.  We expect them to keep them safe.  It is not beyond comprehension for us to feel betrayed... 

The question remains now, what should be done?  What measure of justice to level out?  The counselor has already plead guilty...  I will give you my opinion, however harsh.

First off, we must DEMAND an investigation into the school.  We MUST demand that authorities take a long hard look into this case, to establish if there have been any prior incidents, to establish if there has been any other victim that may have came forward only to be ignored.  We must demand answers until we are assured that the school had no knowledge of this crime; and if there were those who knew and looked away- they must be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

As far as this supposed counselor: it is a favor to society to move on without a trial.  Investigate him further, yes.  We must discover what other victims he may have.  But beyond that spare us the trial.  Spare the taxpayers.  Spare the children the trauma of reliving their stories.  And make the investigation a quick one...  And his sentence a quick one. 

There is only one judgement that can truly bring any kind of justice.  You see, this counselor has already sentenced his victims to a lifetime of suffering.  A life, for a life.  That is what a true and just sentence would be.  If he lives- he will live on with the possibility of offending again.  He will live on in a jail cell, where he will not regret what he has done- but rather his sick and twisted mind will relive, again and again to his demented pleasure, the pain of his victims.  No- no prison time for this man. 

In such cases as this, we must move forward to change the laws.  We must give judges the authority to level out what is fit for this crime.  This man, this monster that was hired by we the people to watch over our children, this vile filth that abused the hearts of those he was supposed to protect, must pay the ultimate price.  Capital punishment.  Execution. 

It is time that we start taking this crime seriously.  It is time we stop pretending the abuser is the victim.  How is it fair that the abuser and the victim both live on reliving the crime, one in pleasure the other in pain?  No.  Protect children of the future.  Let judges put molestors to death, and be done with it.