Of Hope and Fairness in Connecticut

I will be honest...  There are many times in life that I wish things were fair.  Many times that I sit down, examine personal events, or events in the world around me, and wish that life was fair.  There are even times I pray to God that He would make it fair.  It just doesn't seem right, the way things play out.  It doesn't seem... fair.  And yet, despite my pleas, life moves on along the same track, the idea of fair foreign to it's native language, a word not uttered by it's mocking tongue.  No matter how much I would like for it to be different, that track it rolls down is a hard and abusive one, with dips and cracks and breaks and falls and sometimes- derailments.  It doesn't seem fair because shouldn't that track be smooth?  In a perfect world, yes... but in this world...

I will be honest...  Today was a day that I cried out to God, wanting desperately for Him to make life fair.  Not for me, no- but for twenty little children.  Not for me, no- but for the parents of those 20 children.  Not for me, no- but for the grandparents, the brothers, the sisters, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the friends, for all of those who quite literally had their hearts torn from their chest and could do nothing but watch life stomp frantically on that heart, stomp it into the ground until it stopped beating, broken beyond any repair that mankind can offer... 

Oh, God- please make life fair for them.

People across this Country saw the news, the tragedy.  26 people dead.  20 of them children.  Kindergartners.  Children between the ages of 5-8.  The calls have gone out for people to pray.  Pray!  We were told.  Pray for the families!  Voices pleaded.  I am no stranger to prayer, but I must again be honest and say that prayer was a stranger to me today.  Not because I was unwilling- but because I didn't have words.  All I could do was weep for so many broken hearts.  All I could think about was those parents who had bought and wrapped Christmas presents, placed neatly under the tree, that will never be opened.  All I could think about was parents who, a week ago, were stressed about putting cookies out for Santa- are now at a loss because their children are no longer there to share cookies with.  All I could think about was parents who have gone from planning Christmas dinners- to planning funerals. 

Some of you reading this may think me crazy.  After all, I did not know one single victim in today's tragedy.  So how, pray tell, could I get so upset, so worked up, over the deaths of children I did not even know!  But I dare say, that if you do not get upset, if this does not bother you, if this does not weigh heavy on your heart- then you are the one who is crazy.  While it is true this happened several states away, in Connecticut- somewhere I have never even visited for a moment- it is equally true that it could have happened here.  It is equally true that it very easily could have been a child I knew, a family I knew that was broken.  It could have been- my child.

Evil exists here as much as anywhere else in the world.  Life is not more fair here in my neck of the woods.  They say justice is blind, and that may be true- but it is not as blind as tragedy.  And while we gather around our t.v.'s trying to catch glimpses of a madman's motive, there is a  deeper question that must be answered.  It is  question that, if we dare look in the mirror of our soul, we will see staring us in the face.  We must ask ourselves- what if it was  my child?  What if it was my loved one?  What if it was my mom or dad, my grandparent, my brother, my sister, my friend?  Would we bury our loved ones in grief?  Or would we bury them in shame?  Would we treasure our moments we had with them?  Or would we regret the moments we didn't have?  Even worse- would we regret the moments we did have?  Those moments of anger, those moments, of irritation, those moments of frustration, those moments that once tragedy strikes we wish we could have every single one back if just to hold  for one more minute...

With today officially coming to a close, I finally have some words to form into a prayer.  I pray that today you will remember, that there are some things in life more important than getting the newest i-phone or gaming system.  I pray you remember that anger is not worth holding on to.  I pray that you remember that always being right isn't always what is best.  I pray that you make amends, that you allow healing in broken relationships, that this year for Christmas you give forgiveness...  I pray that, as a parent, never let your last words to them be harsh or angry, make sure they know you love them, make sure you hold them close to your heart.  I pray you treasure every stupid joke, every out of tune song that is sung, every question they ask that you don't understand why they are asking you again for the hundredth time...

Because once a treasure is gone, there is no getting it back.

Finally, I pray that you look to this time of year.  I pray that we would all be reminded, when faced with tragedy, the whole point of the first Christmas- to show us that even in our darkest hour there is hope.  Jesus Christ the Son of God was not born into a world that didn't need healing- He was born into a world that is unfair, tragic, and beyond any repair offered by man.  The first Christmas- His birthday- was to remind us that there is light, there is hope, there is healing from God if we seek it- even on the darkest day in Connecticut...

"The Lord heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds..."  Psalm 147:3